There is a price, my darlings, to growth. The weight of change weighs heavily on the heart as you try and make yourself believe, truly believe, that you are a main in character. That you are worthy and easy to love. I’m hoping form will follow function, if I act like I believe, some day I truly will. But these weeks of confidence and burying nagging thoughts and old habits of believing the worst of yourself and the love you hope you have will creep up on you and you’ll battle an anxiety attack, assuaged only by repetitively drawing flower after flower. Our demons don’t want to let us go so easily and no amount of glitter eyeshadow can fix that. But I’ll continue to wear it and the outfits that make me feel powerful in the hope that one day I’ll wake up and truly believe my own rhetoric.

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